Spongebob Loves Krabby Patties
by Stupidfic
Summary: ALOT


Spongebob Squarepants was hard at work in the Krusty Krab. As fry cook for the fast food restaurant, it was his purpose to make all the meals customers desired. The most popular edible item and the restaurant's icon was the Krabby patty. In fact, the yellow sponge was cooking up one right now.

Oh how wonderful it was. Golden brown and fried to perfection. Then he placed the patty on a hamburger bun and placed cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and another bun on top of it. Now it's beauty was too magnificent for words to describe.

Squarepants commented to the freshly made meal "your one fine piece of art. What's that? You… you love me? I love you too, Krabby patty! Give me some sugar baby!"

The spongy fry cook then fiercely made out with the burger. He rotated his tongue between the vegetables inside while his hands caressed the patty's soft buns. Soon the sponge had an idea…

Later, Squidward the cashier barged into the kitchen.

"Spongebob!" the squid shouted "someone ordered a Krabby patty five minutes ago! What's the hold- AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Squidward unfortunately discovered something he'll never forget. Spongebob had his square pants down and was currently fucking a Krabby patty!

"Do you mind?!" yelled Spongebob in embarrassment.

The cashier fled from the filthy kitchen and went to the manager's office. There, Mr. Krabs was busy counting his money.

Squidward screamed in a panicky tone "MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS! SPONGEBOB IS HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A BURGER!"

The plump owner of the Krusty Krab stopped his currency counting and looked at his employee. "Do the customers know about this?"

"Well… no."

"Then there's nothing to worry about! If anyone finds strange white fluid in their food, tell them it's a special sauce!" Mr. Krabs gave out his pirate-like laugh. "Now tell Spongebob to stop screwing around!"

Unsatisfied with his boss's reaction, Squidward grumbled under his breath and went back towards the kitchen. But just as was about to enter, the kitchen opened and collided with his face. Shaking off a possible concussion, the cashier saw the insane cook run off.

"Spongebob! Where in Neptune are you going?" Squidward demanded.

Not bothering to stop, Spongebob loudly replied "Plankton kidnapped by beloved Krabby patty! I'M COMING SWEET CHEEKS!"

-

Meanwhile, in the deserted wasteland known as the Chum Bucket, Plankton was enjoying himself over his latest accomplishment. He had retrieved a Krabby patty and was going to dissect it for study.

Plankton laughed "YES! I WILL FINALLY FIND OUT THE SECRET INGREDIENT FOR THE KRABBY PATTY! BUAHAHAHA!!!"

"No way are you harming my baby!"

The tiny creature turned around and saw Spongebob burst through a window armed with a chain gun!

'Spongerambo Loadedpants' said "eat lead, motherfucker" and fired his gun. Bullets flew everywhere and things broke apart. By the time the chain gun ran out of ammo, the Chum Bucket was filled with bullet holes. But remained unharmed, due to the target's small size and the sponge's awful accuracy. So Spongebob squashed the plankton instead.

Squarepants took his 'girlfriend' in his arms and said "come on, baby, let's go home."

-

Now nearly midnight, some hot action was going on in a giant orange pineapple. The two lovers were underneath some bedroom sheets, both enjoying each other's embrace.

Spongebob panted a bit and spoke "that was AMAZING! I never knew you were such an expert!"

Before the patty could say nothing, the door opened and bringing light to the dark bedroom.

"Gary? Is that you?"

The sponge looked down by the door and gasped. It wasn't his pet snail, but rather a moldy half-eaten Krabby patty!

"My ex-girlfriend! H-hey, how's it going?"

The burger on the ground stood motionless, creating an eerie silence to the uncomfortable Squarepants.

"Look, I'm sorry I called you a slut then abused you and left you to rot in a trash can. No hard feelings?"

The half-eaten patty took out a chainsaw and started it up.

"What the hell? Why do you- oh no! Wait, please! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

The next day, police came to find everyone dead. The moldy Krabby patty had hung itself and the only remains of the slaughtered couple were yellow pieces and ketchup splattered everywhere.

-

DA ENDZ!


End file.
